The hardcore way to eat ramen:
1. Boil water
2. Eat block of ramen
3. Drink boiled water
4. Snort flavored powder
5. Fuck bitches
you looking for this my friend?
my room was getting cold so i went to check if my vent was open and
I burned like 3/4 of my forearm on the oven while I was making chicken and my mom was like “honey put some butter on it it draws the heat out” so she was rubbing a stick of butter on my arm and my stepdad was like “what’s for dinner” as he walked in and saw her slathering my arm in butter and he just slowly backed away
That’s probably why your moms mouth is so fresh
my cousin just said to me “on your wedding day,i’m gonna start my toast with the story of how you were born and grandma cried because you were so ugly”
my life is a constant cycle of waiting until the weekend and then not doing anything when it comes
its crazy that leonardo da vinci could paint and invent all that stuff and still find time to be a crime fighting turtle
and he was amazing in Titanic
This is the moment I fell in love with Bilbo. Because I understand this expression to the depths of my soul.
my favorite eye color is your eye color and my favorite height is your height and my favorite weight is your weight my favorite hands are your hands my favorite knees are your knees